Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize