I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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