I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
