She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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