i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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