I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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