So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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