is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
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