I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
