My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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