Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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