i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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