just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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