somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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