No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
