I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
