I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
