she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
