I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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