if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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