It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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