I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
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There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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