If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
