New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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