Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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