hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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