Me too!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
