come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
