This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We need to get me chipped asap
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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