dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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