i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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