I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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