I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
