This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
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We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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