...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
