His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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