That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
how drunk are you?
Several
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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