Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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