Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
