I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
