I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
