I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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