Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
