You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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