I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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