i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize