She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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