i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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