i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
