Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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