She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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