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I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
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