Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?

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(212): View more from New York

yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(347): View more from New York

Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"

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(917): View more from New York City

I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"

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