We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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