he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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