Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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