you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
