We named our party play list daddy issues
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
